Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Grace

Hello again from Florida! :d

Yesterday was a not so good day, and a good day.

As with every Monday, we started off with worship and intercession, which normally is a great time for me where I spend intimate time with God. However, I just felt apathetic that morning. Apathy through praise, and apathy through the intercessory prayer. So that was a little disappointing. The teaching was interesting, but felt repetitive with some of what was taught before, so felt a little apathetic to that as well.

Then we moved onto recreation, but it was really hot and humid that day. :<

I was looking forward to my CR [community responsibility, like a job I have almost every day (Tuesdays are reception, and I have access to a computer to be able to write this :d)], which was dinner prep., which I really like. Another student however, wasn't doing so well so I decided to trade CRs for that day (to 'miscellaneous/misc.' CR).

It sucked.

At this point, I had a small headache building, and I don't deal with mental pain well at ALL. So I was left at a house to bring chairs out into the front of yard in the heat and humidity, waiting for the other two people to come back from their air conditioned car and buildings to pick me back up.

As you guys know, I'm not the most physically fit guy out there. ;d

In my sweaty, tiring misery, I was reminded of why I was there. I volunteered myself to do this. I could have just not traded jobs, and I would be comfortable in the air conditioned building, having fun cooking. I would have access to cool water and some advil and whatnot.

I chose to do this. Knowing that my job would probably be more tiring ('misc' CR people don't know what they do until day of), I traded jobs so that my fellow sister would not have to go through this because I felt that I was able to do this with more grace and to give her rest with an easier/more restful CR.

I had to remind myself that I wasn't doing this for recognition or any king of 'good job for working so hard' [and nor did anyone say such, though they probably don't know what I did exactly], but instead for God. So I brought out the chairs, telling myself of why I was doing this, and to do all things well, for I do everything in and for Christ.

Through the headache, heat, humidity, work, I was so close to just stopping what I was doing and just to give up/take the easy way out. I was reminded of Paul, however, when he had complained to God for a problem to be taken away from him. God replied, "My grace is sufficient."

That was probably the biggest thing that prevented me from just breaking down after what had happened throughout the day. That phrase just kept going through my head as I had to move things out of the closet to put the chairs in, only to put everything back in there again [and I VERY MUCH dislike the repetitive moving of furniture].

I was tired, sweaty, pained, unappreciated, and just wanted to break down and cry, but God's grace was sufficient. It is sufficient. And that undeserved favor WILL be sufficient for me in all I do.

I know it sounds whiny here, but that wasn't the attitude I showed through the day [I consciously decided to be polite/kind/amicable, even though I was often wanted to act out in tired frustration], and I am just so thankful that I was able to get through by His grace.

Though I may not have 'felt' God, I know by faith that he was there with me throughout that day. I know that it was by His grace that I was able to finish the work I had put myself in.

Praise God.
:3

PS: There are two DTS groups running at the same time: the regular DTS, and the Sports and Fitness DTS (guess which one I'm not in 8D). The S&F DTS are going to Morocco, and we are going to Tunisia.

Yay for Tunisia. :d

5 comments:

LINduh said...

D: youuuuuuuuuuuuuuung ><;;

this entire experience sounds VERY similar to the horrid day i had last year (remember what i wrote in collective updates? ><;;)so i can sympathize with your mental process.. (especially since we tend to think similarly most times ^^;;)

i'm glad you kept going and prevented yourself from breaking down- and thought of God every step of the way.

i also think that you learned a lot more from this experience than what you would have learned from the kitchen (despite how fun it would have been lol- but you can always have fun later ^^)

i'm sad that you're going through physical pains though.. health is really important so make sure to stay healthy as much as possible- if you need any medication or medical assistance shipped over, you know i'm here for you!!

also,
the Young today is more self-sacrificing than the Young of pre-monday, and that it self is an accomplishment. :3

and yay for tunisia! it's much more interesting i'm sure than morocco.. especially with its history haha and their food is probably more suited for you :P

take care~ <3you

Anonymous said...

Young~~~~ <33333333333333

I also can somehow relate to this cuz Paul is an amazing man! (of course, so are you Young!!!! -3-)

Please be careful not to get dehydrated and "Avoid" malnutrition! We want you to get the most out of it possible but health is very important! Even Elijah was provided with water and bread and meat during his stay in desert. Young, i really hope to see you healthy and "meaty~" (you noe what i mean? lifting all those chairs gatta get some Tofu-squishy out of the way!)

Tell us when you are departing USA! maybe we can send a mail there before you leave~ <3

With <3 and -3-

-Ji Bai

Emma Hartman said...

Youngyoung, you're growing so much baby~ I'm glad to see that you're maturing in life and in God. That's wonderful. Your experience at DTS sounds like it's doing amazing things for your life that I'm sure will carry their influence outward to the people that you meet that you will influence as well (including us ^^). That's another thought to remember as you're going through tough stuff: what you're going through may seem crappy and difficult now, but one day, somehow (you may not even know it when it happens) this experience and your God centered life is going to impact someone, who will impact someone, who will impact someone for Christ. You're your own little Christ impacting machine! Ripple effect~ Anyways, glad to here that you're alive and (mostly) well. Good luck continuing to survive the ever increasing humidity :P and I know nothing about Tunisia, but I'm sure you'll have fun there. Hopefully they have more to eat than beans and lentils~

Love you, Youngface <3 and yes, take care of yourseeellf~

Young the Amazing said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. <3

Love you guys~

Everrecus said...

Keep it going Young. MATT 5:16. Thanks for writing this. I remembered something through it. God bless you, brother. Always be full and always be wanting.

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